Sunday, November 30, 2008


The words running about in my head this a. m. are all to do with exercise. I love exercise. Walking, Tai Chi, reading a book, (exercising my mind) and have course, watching Tiger Woods play golf on TV. I am a senior lesbian so I lean a little towards conservative exercise.

Saturday I sat down to take a break from writing and eat a Snickers bar. I flipped on the TV---golf-flip-auto racing-flip-basketball -flip-infomercial, mmm an "abs" builder. No doubt about that my "abs" could stand a little building. Probably could start by not eating Snickers bar when I break from writing.

Guess I'll watch this guy. It is ENLIGHTENING! For $19.99 and 20 minutes a day I could have "abs" as hard as a "six-pack". I wondered what that meant and I also wondered how long it would take --a month, six months or a year? Better assess my abs.

When I pulled my shirt up to look at my "abs. My god, where were they? They were there, but they looked like a cross between cottage cheese and beige jelly. May be a Twinkie six pack. Not a pretty sight. My "abs" could be better described as “flabs"! As a "before" the abs builder I would probably be considered an overachiever.

But then during a commercial in the middle of the infomercial the "abs" man said he would be right back with a woman "who lost inches and weight" using the abs builder. Great this would give me a break to go to the bathroom and then see if there was any leftover pizza. A little piece wouldn't spoil my supper. Ask any writer--sometimes-writing just needs to be fed.

All of my missions accomplished, I snuggled back into the couch just in time to see this gorgeous woman (a size 3) shiny, tan, and muscular. No love handles and sure enough---"abs". It was when they showed "before" picture that I really lost interest in sending for this $19.99 wonder and expending that 20 minutes a day. She must have been a size 3 1/4 when she started on this wonderful program.

Oh well, time to get back to writing---I think I have spent more than enough time on exercise.

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